Sunday, April 08, 2007
Congrats Elicia on your wedding! Hope you'll have a blissfull marriage.
Seeing my Sec sch friends getting married one by one I'm really happy for them. At least they've found their life time partner and their future.
But everytime I see my friends getting married, I feel sorry for myself. Haha.. Not that I'm unattached or what la. Or I'm dying to get married. But the funny thing is that my other half have no plans for our future at all. Probably he has a plan, but didn't tell me. But I'm like.. always the one talking about weddings. (This make me sound like I'm DYING to get married!) haha..
I dunno, but we have major quarrels over the WORD marriage. My mum knew my sec sch fren is getting married, so she was asking me.. "When's Yours?? Since both of u have been together for more den 2 years already. Any plans?" I TOLD my bf about wad my mum asked. Guess wad he said? I was like.. quite angry when he said this when we were quarreling.. " Why everyone is pressuring me to get married?" I was like WHOA, my mum juz asked only. Ya, although I did mentioned about it afew times. But he didn't give me an answer like.. When.. -_-"
Oh well, I'm already turning 23 this year. Not OLD but not YOUNG either. What am I suppose to do if I didn't know what my future is going to be like? Right? Imagine spending your youth with someone who doesn't have plans to grow old together!! Sometimes I just feel insecure. You get what I mean? I'm getting tired of hanging on the cliff waiting to be rescued. Sometimes I'm tired of life. My life. Things don't go well for me. I have a JOB that doesn't earn much. My bf sometimes don't understand and know what exactly I want. Argh.. juz sucks! Lucky I have my family, but we're not as close as before cuz whenever I have free time it goes to him n his family. Oh ya, not forgetting about my friends.. Pearl n jonathan is always there for me when I'm down.
Sigh.. I'm confused. I dunno what to do. After so much quarrels with my bf, I feel like giving up. He doesn't understand how i feel sometimes. All i need is some sense of security. But I don't feel it. Everything about him is good except this point. Anyway, since I can't get the sense of security from him, I've told him I'll never ever talk about the WORD marriage again. Cuz I doubt I'll ever get married. =)
Signing off soon.. quite tired after the wedding dinner located at jurong. Lucky Yvvone's husband send us back. If not I think we'll take donkey years to get back home. Good night..
* Imagine me without YOU *
Sunday, April 08, 2007
